After we welcomed Baby B into our lives, I worked through a flood of postpartum emotions. This birth was especially joyful and healing for me because I delivered our baby at home after a traumatizing c-section experience. Different feelings washed over me after her delivery and I found myself in deep appreciation and celebration over the way our daughter entered the world. Today I’m sharing the letter I wrote to my husband in expression of my gratitude to him for the unwavering support he provided before, during, and after her birth. I know that some fellow VBAC mommies will be able to relate to these feelings and I pray that any VBAC hopeful will find encouragement and strength in reading these sentiments.
However, as I sit here in this moment and watch our two beautiful children sleeping, I am reflecting on you…my best friend, my rock, my everything. You are the man who helped me create these two small humans, the most magnificent people I know.
Back in June we celebrated you along with all the other dads, hallmark style. Then, our little boy turned three and I quietly celebrated you, again. I love that date for the simple fact that his birth made us parents for the first time and forever. This is something I would not have without you. I thank my God everyday for the father you are and the amazing spirit that makes him, well, him. You helped create that. I celebrated you, yet again, this year when we lovingly welcomed our little girl to earth. These days of celebration will help define our existence from now until the end.
Thank you. Two simple and overused yet understated words that could never truly express the gratitude instilled in me for you. I’m so grateful for the way you supported me through Baby B’s pregnancy, labor and delivery. You continue to be my biggest supporter and helper. I can’t help but sob over the journey we have shared and as I shed these tears of utter gratitude I can’t imagine sharing this life with anyone else.
While it may not be fair, you are my everything. I wanted no one else but you by my side while I was laboring to bring our beautiful daughter earth-side. You have seen me through the darkest times of my life and you still love me after watching me revert to my most basic, animal like birthing instincts. You trusted me to deliver our baby and while I know it was not without worry, you gave me space and respected my intuition. Because of this, I was able to give birth the way I knew was right. This helped me find my freedom and worth as a woman, again. Your faith in me helped my scarred body and spirit feel whole. There is no way to ever return such a gesture, nor are there words to express the sheer magnitude and impact of this.
*All professional images by BOKA.
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