It’s 7:59 on a Saturday morning and I’m just closing down my office. Yes, my work office…on a weekend. When I woke at 4 AM to nurse my baby I couldn’t stop my mind from racing. There are about 1 million things in my work world that need accomplished. Add to that the other million in my home and here I sit, taking care of one thing so that I can go on to take care of the next.
I’m not bitter about this. A little tired, maybe, but not upset. I am a doer and a connector and while I am all too familiar with the feeling of “overwhelmed-ness” washing over me, I find joy in making things happen. This, also, is the life I have unapologetically chosen.
As I’m having this thought, I quickly turn to check on the sleeping baby who was just snuggling on my lap while I hit “send” on a last email. That chunky cheeked baby grins ear to ear as if she can hear my ideas. Her smile says, “Mommy, you are a bad ass.” I smile back and say to myself, “Yep.” I just accomplished half a work day in the wee hours of the morning and will be home in time to enjoy breakfast with my husband and little boy.
Here is the thing, I’m not the first or last lady to pull it all off. I belong to an amazing group of humans called mommies. No matter our different paths to becoming mothers, we rock this gig like no one’s business. Our kids think we are bad ass because we are, and the only person who would ever teach them otherwise is us. So, it’s time to examine three of the things that make us magnificent and keep them in mind for those tough mommy days.
I’ve recently been presented with two opportunities I was sad to turn down. I have limits and in order to “make it all happen” in my life I have to make tough decisions about the ways I’ll spend my time. It never feels good to turn something great down, but balancing my out-of-home commitments with my family time is too important to me.
Additionally, I am constantly making choices ALL through my work day that impact others. When I come home I do the same. Trust me, I’m human and sometimes have to take responsibility for an error in judgement, but so far so good! I enjoy a thriving career and healthy, in-tact family with some of the best friends on earth. We are not all doctors, teachers, counselors, trainers, event planners, chefs, or cleaners by trade but our careers, social lives, and families need us to make decisions in many of these roles…and we do! (Talk about overworking our brains around the clock.)
I recently met a colleague for a Monday morning meeting. She had her grand kids over the weekend and she very seriously asked me, “How do you do this?” She gave me the “up and down” with her eyes while working to judge if my smile was real or painted on. It was real and yes, mascara is in my everyday morning routine. I wear it proudly, for me, because I like to look as good as, or better than, I feel. The genuine smile helps, too! Look good, feel good, do good.
Every time I pull off my morning routine I have something else to be proud about because I have somehow managed to emerge in one composed piece after navigating a toddler and infant inhabited home. (The hubbs gets a special shout out here, too, for always helping in the mornings!) In turn, my husband, children, and colleagues get the best Chelse I can present that day. This isn’t revolutionary…we all find a way to put our best foot forward, with or without help.
Every mom knows what it’s like to have a grueling day whether at the office or elsewhere, only to be asked so sweetly for some evening snuggles and to read a book. I’ll be honest, some days I just have to let daddy do it. This is the part where I sometimes choose to accept or ask for help. Most often, though, I’m right back in the trenches. My son is going to have my attention and a little brain stimulation along with it. Am I going to “bla bla” and “wah wah” my way through that story? Nope. He’ll get the full throttle voice fluctuation along with character tone and anything else I can muster. Where else on earth do we ask such effort from others? Yet, we expect it from ourselves and somehow we make it happen. We move mountains because we never stop.
In finding a way to make it all happen, we often spend too much time being hard on ourselves. We will say things to ourselves that we wouldn’t dream of saying to our friends. We forget to celebrate the person who was bad ass enough to get us where we are in our mommy lives. When we take the time to see what HAS been accomplished instead of what needs to be done, the picture is most often amazing!
So, go on with your bad self and keep making magnificent happen!
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