My cherished circle of people have taken to becoming mommies. From first time pregnancies to adoptions and back over to growing families, I am surrounded by the blessing of children joining us earthside. I have big hopes and dreams for these women and these are the things I wish I could truly help them understand before they embark on the next chapter of their beautiful journeys.
I WISH I COULD
I wish I could witness the moment you first experience your own raw strength and power as a mother.
Becoming a mom will conjure inexplicable grit and a protective toughness that will come from deep within your soul. You will carry this with you from here on out.
Please embrace this power and allow yourself space to use it.
I wish I could express to you how much birth matters.
The way your baby is born will impact you, and them, for the rest of your lives. It will serve you well to become wholly informed about the birth process while carefully sorting your options. You are the master of your body and completely capable of making decisions.
Please trust your body, speak up, hire a birth advocate, and own your experience.
I wish I could prepare you for the utter exhaustion you are going to experience.
There is absolutely nothing that can get you ready for the overwhelming tiredness that will settle into your bones and shatter life as you know it. There may be times you don’t even recognize the person you are staring at in the mirror.
Please accept this less than stellar version of yourself with love and ask for help when you need it.
I wish I could give you a glimpse of the extreme joy and selfless love you will develop.
There are no earthy words to describe the way your heart will swell with passion, pride, and ultimate admiration for the gift of a child. It will develop and strengthen over time. Take pictures and record memories because they will disappear without notice.
Please hold this joy close because it will carry you through the really tough days.
I wish I could apologize to you, ahead of time, for the way you will punish yourself.
Parenting comes with an unimaginable amount of stress over the constant decisions you will be forced to make on behalf of the perfect human you are nurturing and raising. You will get it right at times and sometimes you will have to try more than once.
Please remember to be kind to yourself and that children are gloriously resistant.
I wish I could prepare you for the inevitable and devastating sadness of “letting go.”
Parents all have to let go of their children at some point and often more than once during a lifetime. It’s the hardest and most necessary part of unconditionally loving your kiddo.
Please know that you are surrounded with people who will understand your sad days.
I wish I could tell you how much your perfect baby will someday drive you mad.
It’s hard to believe while holding your newborn that there will be days you don’t recognize them because they have gone rouge and warped into an inconsolable or angry or crazy or (fill in the blank) being.
Please hold that child tightly and love them as relentlessly as you can, remembering how quickly they will grow and change.
I wish you could see into my heart to know how much love and admiration I have for you.
You are joining a supreme sisterhood of mothers and I’m so proud to be one of the first to welcome you. I’m cheering for you and patiently waiting for the beautiful angel that will change your life forever.
Please carry my support with you and always remember how much I adore you.
*All images by BOKA.
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