From the Mouths of Mommas – #2

In this series we ask multiple mommas one question. The answers show the love, joy and struggles we experience each day, week, month, year or lifetime. Although the answers may vary, it’s clear we are working toward the same results: healthy, happy and loved children! 

What is the scariest moment you have faced as a mother and what did it teach you?

April – Nolan: Age 6 / Ben: Age 2

The scariest moment I have faced as a mother was leaving my kiddos overnight. Even though it was with Grandma both times. So many horrific scenarios played over in my head, and in each I wasn’t close enough to be with my baby. It taught me to let go a little and enjoy my time away, because I knew my kids were having a blast. I learned that we all need a little time away from each other in order to reconnect and refresh!

Barb – Sean: Age 32

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Getting a phone call that your child is hurt or hurting is pretty scary. Your first instinct is to be there, fix the problem and continue on. The scary part continues each day (for me, because of my son’s profession) he goes to work, knowing (or imagining) his day to day encounters – some dangerous and, most, unpleasant. It has taught me to put my trust in him, knowing he is trained and confident in what he does.

Corrie  – Sam: Age 19 / Catlyn: Age 13

Girls

The scariest moment I faced as a mother was when was my first born, Samantha, became so sick she was admitted to the hospital. I was young, about 22, and my beautiful healthy daughter’s stomach became significantly distended and painful. All my efforts as a mother became inept. I rushed her to the ER with my own mother, my best friend and rock, while my husband stayed at home with my stepdaughter. A nasogastric tube was immediately needed, and the staff requested help from my mother and I. Young and scared, I held my babies arms down, as she writhed in shock, fear, and pain and a tube was inserted into her nose. She began to panic and cough, and I became so scared I let go in attempt to comfort my child. All in vain; the tube came out. We had to do it again AND she knew it was coming. How do you tell your precious baby looking up at you, the most trusted one, that this had to be done again, and you would be part of it? Once again, as my sweet beautiful little girl gagged and cried, they forced the tube down her throat. While the staff called the on call surgeon who admitted my precious child, my mom and I cried so hard. My angel was on the pediatric floor for five days with an IV in her little arm and taped to a board,  oxygen tube taped to her beautiful face and a catheter protruding from her little body, all along lifeless from a bug undetected for days. My husband and I slept on a cot in her room, never leaving our baby. The best pediatrician in town, Dr. E, spent countless days and hours [treating her] and with the help of Denver Children’s, soon discovered an intestinal bug which cleared quickly with antibiotics. This was definitely the most scary time in my life because I had no idea what was going on and I had no way to explain to my baby why I was part of the pain she was enduring.

Erin – 2 Boys Ages 13 and 11

Erin and Boys

Four years ago I made the most difficult decision I have ever had to make: I chose divorce. I chose to separate our family and divide it into two homes. He subpoenaed me to trial. For the first time in 10 years, he was going to fight FOR his children and I had to fight against him. Why should I be worried? I had enough evidence to not only keep my children with me, but keep him away from them. No judge in their right mind would allow my children to be raised by someone other than me! Would they?!? My attorney advised we ” play clean.” No negative talk. No negative evidence. No smear campaigns. We were going to take the high road. How am I going to win the battle if I don’t have any ammunition? I have never been more terrified than I was that day. My boys, my everything, could be taken from me with the slamming of a gavel. What if I lost? What if the judge took my sons away from me? What if the judge decided it would be better to share their time between two homes? I was in the fight of my life. I was fighting for my children. That was a pivotal day. I learned that sometimes NOT speaking says way more than speaking. I learned that walking with grace is greater than walking with anger. I learned that love is stronger than hate. I learned forgiveness is greater than holding onto hurt. I learned that I can stand unwavering, with the strength of God within me.

Chelse – Toddler A: Age 3 / Baby B: Age 4 Months

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I had a terrible experience at a wedding a few summers ago. Toddler A was almost two and running around like a champ. I decided to wear high heels for the first time in almost three years. The venue was on a busy street lined with parked cars and all the children were playing between the sidewalk and the reception building. I was on high mommy alert when Daddy D decided to run inside for more food. Before I knew it, Toddler A was in a full sprint away from me. At first I didn’t chase because I had learned that making it a game would only encourage him to run harder, as had happened so many times before. He headed up the sidewalk, took a sharp turn and darted out between two parked cars into moving traffic. My heart sank and I desperately screamed at the most blood-curdling volume I could muster, begging for him to stop. I started running after him and took a nasty spill about four steps into my jaunt thanks to the dress shoes I gave myself permission to wear. I looked up from the pavement and watched him stop at the tire of a pickup truck that was moving past, the driver never noticing my baby. Daddy D’s mom ran past me and grabbed Toddler A out of the street. My confidence in my parenting abilities was shaken, my pride was utterly sabotaged, and I shuttered and sobbed at the thought of what I had almost witnessed. I still get sick to my stomach when I think about it. I did learn, however, that I’m going to mess up time and again as a mom because I’m human and the rules don’t always stay the same. Kids are unpredictable and I have to be ready to roll with the punches. I learned that we all need help in this parenting gig. It’s important to have family and close friends for support. (I’ll never forget Kerstin’s text after this incident telling me not to be so hard on myself.) I also learned not to wear high heels when my babies have learned to run but not listen to, or understand, the word, “STOP!”

Be sure to check out these Jelly Bean Journals posts:

From the Mouths of Mommas # 1

Happy, Healthy & Loved. Stop the Mommy Wars Part I

I’m a Bad Ass & So Are You

9 things I Hope My Grown Son Can Say About His Working Mom

A Dad’s Dilemma: Why is this Kid Crying?

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