In January, Seano and I took our first kid-free vacation since N was born more than three years ago. We spent a long weekend in San Diego. It was absolutely amazing. Like, rejuvenating, thrilling, out-of-this world amazing. And not because we did anything spectacular or went somewhere new. But, because it was the first time in more than three years that we had more than 24 hours to just be with each other.
Seano went out on Sunday for a conference and I joined him when it ended on Thursday. San Diego is beautiful, warm and laid back. So I’m sure all of these things only contributed to our enjoyment. We ate great food, moved on our own schedule, toured new sites, and visited places that were special from years ago when I lived there. We came home committed to making sure we get one similar weekend away each year, even if we only go somewhere a couple hours down the road. Let me tell you why, for me, this weekend meant so much.
I forgot what it was like to be, completely, on our own schedule.
It’s not like N runs our world constantly. But, children have certain needs that must be met. For example, Seano and I are fine if we have a late dinner. In the evening N is asking for food and gobbling up anything that comes in his line of sight if we haven’t fed him by 6 pm. If he isn’t asleep by 9 pm (his normal bedtime is 8 pm), we might as well schedule two hours for bed time routine because he’ll fight us so much that our evening will be shot. On our trip we were able to come and go as we pleased, eat when we felt like it, and sit down and relax when the urge called us. Most of all, we were able to say solely each other, “what would you like to do,” and then go do it. It was a reminder of a time when the only needs we were trying to meet besides our own, were each others’. It was just freeing.
We could go anywhere we wanted, even if it wasn’t kid friendly.
You know, we are goers and doers. Except for our date nights, we take N almost everywhere we go. But, many of our plans are centered around him. What could we incorporate that he would like? What will work well with his schedule? What will be easy on all of us and most convenient? This trip allowed us to go anywhere we wanted, anytime, without having to make any concessions because we had a child in tow. Some of the choices we made were less than kid friendly. We listened to live music late into the evening and toured an awesome aircraft carrier that had so many nooks and crannies, I was just sure if N was with us, I would have lost him. For a couple days, I just appreciated being able to make choices based on what we wanted to do together.
Seano and I were able to fully focus on each other.
Probably, more than anything else, this made the trip so great. We had full conversations that weren’t interrupted by other’s needs or life’s demands. We talked deeper and broader about things that sometimes don’t get covered when we’re running through to do lists and calendar appointments. We listened more intently because our focus was not challenged by other things.
Seano and I are great partners. We always say that to each other. We are incredibly supportive of each other and can tag-team all things in our life like pros. But, in the hustle and bustle of our life, I think we sometimes forget just how incredible we are as individuals and all the things we loved about each other before we were parents. And, let me tell you, I got the best of them in Seano and it felt so good to remember that.
I could not wait to get home to my baby (especially because he got a stomach bug while we were away). But, man, this trip was so, so good! So good for Seano and I and such a good reminder that we need to continue making time in our year for these weekends.
Have you experienced the same struggle to get away? If you made it happen, did you find it as fulfilling as me?
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