N Turned 4 in October! Keeping with tradition, I wrote N his annual birthday letter like I did at one year, two years and three years. I wrote it a few weeks before his birthday and before the arrival of his little brother. I hope you enjoy this year’s letter!
Happy 4th Birthday N!
Just like that another year has passed and you are another year older. When I ask you to stop growing, you say, “Mom, I can’t. I just do.” You look more and more like a boy and less and less like a baby.
If I had to sum up this year, I’d say it was a growing year. I sound like a broken record, but watching you grow and learn is basically the best thing ever! I just couldn’t be more proud of you. Your mannerisms are changing, modeling dad and I and what you think other big kids are doing. There are times now that I forget what you are capable of and you have to remind me. I often try to help you with a task that you have already so clearly mastered. As soon as I see, I back off and watch you conquer it with pride.
You yack my ear off and I indulge in every minute. I picked you up from school the other day and you had story after story for me. You told me about Spanish class, and together we counted to “diez.” You recited a new color poem you learned about Sassy and a Cat. And you “taught” me how to play freeze tag and would not let me off the hook until me and my pregnant belly crawled through your legs to unfreeze you (this lifted you off the ground by the way, and looked more like you were riding a horse but we got it done).
This year you fell in love with dinosaurs. Dinosaur play, dinosaur presents, dinosaur nuggets, dinosaur books, dinosaur nicknames like momma and baby Velociraptor, dinosaur tattoos, and dinosaur movies, documentaries and TV. Oh my gosh, and I learned more dinosaur names than I ever imagined I’d know. You have a new, big boy dinosaur themed room and we wrapped up the year with a “Roar, N’s Turning 4!” dinosaur birthday party. It appears your love for those giant creatures isn’t about to slow down anytime soon. I’ve loved every big phase you’ve gone through: Finding Nemo, planes, and superheros, but I especially love this one because I’m learning right along with you!
Occasionally, you pop into our room in the middle of the night and say, “Momma, can I just have a little snuggle.” This happens so seldom and I question if one of these times might just be the last, so I can practically never tell you “no.” You jump in, I breathe you in, and we peacefully drift off to sleep head-to-head. (Daddy says he always gets your legs and feet. Apparently, this not nearly as fun or sweet!)
Although I’m your momma, it really feels like I’m your best friend, too. We play together, hide from daddy and jump out and say, “boo!” and cuddle during movies. You still want to be with me as much as I want to be with you. Deep down, I’m terrified of this changing. I am realistic and denying that this won’t change would be naive. Instead of worrying about it, I’m trying to take full advantage of it while it lasts. I also pray that you remember your mom can have fun and would practically do anything to spend time with you.
The next year will be much different. I have watched you wait in anticipation for your little brother; kissing my belly and talking about what you will do together. I know you will be an incredible big brother and I hope you will always be a place of security and comfort for each other. I don’t know what this change means for our life, yet. I hope and pray the love, benefits, and joy far outweigh the sacrifices, challenges and changes for you. I have wrestled with these feelings for a while now; wondering how this choice will affect you and our relationship. My love for you is so deep and so wide that although my time and energy may bit split, I’m confident my heart will double. And more than anything I want you to know, I will work so hard to make sure you feel included and like you still have your whole momma.
Right now, daddy and I are trying to help you find a balance around your sensitivity. Like you, I am also sensitive and often find it to be one of my greatest strengths and biggest weaknesses. I want you to be considerate and compassionate but I don’t want people to walk on you; you are too special for that. I want you to know when it’s time to stand up and be strong without being a bully or attacking. Finding the language and the lessons as I talk to you, my three old, has been difficult. Although I wonder if you’re ready for these conversations, I’ve always talked to you about life and experiences, so I certainly won’t stop now. We will continue to talk and work on this and see where your personality and qualities naturally take you.
Each year, with all the changes that come, consistently brings so much fun, happiness and love. I cannot express how blessed daddy and I feel to have you in our lives. Happy birthday baby! I hope it’s a “Roaring, Good Time!”
Professional Photos by Corrie L. Photography
Be sure to check out other JBJ posts, too!