Big Brother N!
Happy Birthday Baby! Boy do you love your birthday more and more every year. As a birthday fan myself, I sure love this! Your eyes light up when we talk about your party, your enthusiasm and excitement over your friends gathering is like no other, and the smile on your face is biggest when people are singing to you over lit candles. I will continue to love celebrating your birthday every year, as it’s a reminder of the day you entered my life and blessed us beyond measure.
One of the biggest joys this year was watching you become a big brother. You are playful and most of all an includer. You are far more patient with him than I would likely be. If he’s near you, he’s usually crawling all over you or trying to take your toy. While sometimes it does frustrate you, you’re typically incredibly tolerant. Even more, most often, you would choose your brother over any toy or person. My heart is full when I look at you two, with your backs to me not knowing I’m there, and you are playing and giggling. I could secretly stand there for hours. Watching you choose each other and seeing your love grow makes me feel proud and excited for your future relationship. I’m not sure if it’s been this experience or just your growth in general; but we have watched you become a leader this year; changing from someone who needs regular guidance and assistance to a helper yourself. I’m bursting with pride.
Although there were incredible moments this year, there was one that is burned into my memory and challenged my strength to my core. In June, in the middle of my work day, I received a call that you were bit by a dog in the face. It was by far the scariest call and moment of my life. The handful of minutes it took me to get to you felt like years and the memory of those minutes play in slow motion in my mind. Your dad is always the strong one when one of you boys gets hurts. Emotionally and medically, he knows how to handle the situation. I always end up serving as his assistant, and listening to each instruction he offers including telling me to calm down. Inside, I was terrified as I wasn’t sure what I was walking in to. I wanted to lose my mind and my cool, but I knew since I would get to you first, that I would need to pull it together. When I got to you, part of me calmed down immediately just seeing that, although bleeding and scared, you were okay. After several appointments, we headed to the plastic surgeon for stitches. It didn’t take you long to realize the dozens of local anesthetic shots straight into your wounds were one of the most painful things you’ve experienced to date. I didn’t blame you for trying to jump into my arms, dodging the surgeon or hearing you scream like I never heard you before. I was forced to lay on top of you so the surgeon could do his work, and I will never forget the fear in your eyes and the feeling I experienced as you pleaded for me to take you away and knowing I couldn’t do anything to ease your pain in that moment. As a mother, there are often moments, although not this extreme, where I’m required to do something that is painful now but will benefit you in the long run. These moments are some of the most challenging of parenthood and take strength, resolve, and long term vision. Although you do not understand in the moment, the actions I take will always be to benefit you, create the best life for you, and keep you safe and healthy.
Your mind exploded this year! In the simplest terms, that’s it. The educational growth your dad and I saw this year, and your interest and love for learning was overwhelming. You regularly stop us in our tracks when you say things that we have no idea you knew and the complex ideas you’re starting to understand blow our minds. It’s an incredible experience to watch you grow and become a human being with your own opinion.
Speaking of your own opinion, you sure have one. Most of the time, I love and welcome it. In fact, many times I’m surprised by how your little mind has processed something and how right I think you are. But I’ve got to tell you son, sometimes it’s too much for your momma. Attempting to avoid the obligatory parental response, “Because I said so!”, I work so hard to explain things to you. But, sometimes before I know it, I have said, “Because I said so!” I will continue to do my best to respect your thoughts and opinion, even when I think it’s wrong. But, please, please try to also respect mine. The experiences and life your mom has on you can serve you well and be an ally in your choices whether you want to believe it or not.
You are just growing up so fast. I’m literally watching a little boy grow before my eyes. At moments, I look at you and I don’t recognize the boy before my eyes. I can’t believe that this tall, articulate boy is the baby I birthed five years ago. My day begins with carrying you to the breakfast table and my day ends with lifting you into your bed. Not because you can’t walk yourself to the table or climb the stairs to your bed, but because I know, and maybe you do too, that the days where I can easily lift you are limited. Some would say you are too big for these things, but I say as long as there is a place for me in your life, I will be there in whatever way you allow.
My mind can barely wrap itself around the thoughts of you headed to kindergarten next year. I know you are ready. Honestly, you’re probably ready today. But selfishly, I’ll take all the extra days I get to keep you little. I’ll hold your hand, welcome you on my lap, kiss your owies, and make believe experiences. And I will continue to treasure every second and moment you give me.
Happy birthday Big Brother N! I hope your sixth year brings more love, excitement, silliness, and happiness than you can handle. I am so blessed and proud to be your mom!
Professional Photos by Corrie L. Photography
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